Despre moarte- E.Kubler Ross

On life after Death- Elisabeth Kubler Ross

E greu de crezut ca omul a aparut pe pamant de milione de ani, a progresat mult in cunoasterea lumi, reusim sa ajungem pe luna, am descoperit fuziunea nucleara, tainele geneticii, si totusi nu putem raspunde la intrebarea care este sensul vietii, care este sensul mortii si mai ales a mortii premature sau neasteptate. Avem tendinta sa tratam ca pe un tabu murirea, adesea chiar si doliul. Dar Elisabeth Kubler Ross a schimbat lumea, mai exact modul omului de de a se intelege pe sine in perspectiva mortii.
Este de admirat in mod deosebit este curajul cu care autoarea si-a dedicat viata intelegerii acestui argument tabu, a psihologiei muribundului, rasturnand o prejudecata larg raspandita in lumea consumului si a lui be happy, lume care prefera sa nege existenta mortii, sa o considere o greseala a altora, in loc sa se confrunte cu ea, prefera sa o reduca la tacere in loc sa asculte muribunduls aisi povesteasca temerile si gandurile. Desi nu exista invatator mai bun decat decat omul aflat inaintea mortii, copil sau batran(p.21).
Elisabeth Kubler Ross a devenit celebra prin cartea Death and Dying unde ca rezultat al observatiilor sale clinice stabileste cinci faze ale elaborarii propriei morti, faze care se regasesc mai apoi in orice trauma.
Exista un timp al negarii, cand ne continuam sa proiectam viata ca s cum nu am fi auzit diagnosticul, sau cand inmormantam o persoan draga apoi mergem acasa sa o asteptam, exista un timp al furiei, un timp al negocierilor, exista un timp al tristetii si resemnarii, si totusi exista si un timp al impacarii, mai ales daca exista un ajutor pentru a fi elaborate.
Despre moarte trebuie vorbit uneori fara teama chiar si copiilor (al patrulea eseu), de pilda cand o mama stie ca va muri le spune copiilor sai, asa isi pot lua ramas bun, cei in doliu trebuie sa isi poata impartasi durerea unul cu altul. Nimic nu e asa dureros ca durerea in tacere si minciunile cu care se incearca a ascunde un eveniment dureros. Despre acesta se ocupa al patrulea eseu al cartii. Cartea este o colectie de patru eseuri pe tema vietii dupa moarte. Ea subliniaza concluziile la care a ajuns in urma carieirei sale, stand la patul muribunzilor.
Nu exista moarte, zice autoarea. Moartea este asemanata de Elisabeth Kubler Ross cu iesirea fluturelui din cocon, la fel sufletul paraseste trupul caruia ii daduse viata. Moartea deci e inceputul unei vieti eterne, o nastere la o superioara constiinta de sine.
Argumentele ipotezei sale despre nemurire sunt rezultatul marturiei a 20.000 de oameni din intreaga lume, de toate culturile , religiile si varstele, oameni trecuti prin moartea clinica. Astfel ea contureaza o ipoteza plauzibila a vietii de dupa moarte.
Marturiile arata ca in primele momente ale mortii clinice are loc o perceptie extrasenzoriala, perceptia iesirii din corp insotita de constientizarea deplinatatii corporale. De pilda persoane oarbe reusesc sa vada corect persoanele din preajma mesei de operatie si sa dea detalii privind culori, fapte, dar reintorsi in corpul lor nu vad din nou. Deci toate sensurile sunt integre, avem forma noastra perfecta. Capacitatea de disociere de propriul corp intervine si in alte momente traumatice
E important de stiut ca nimeni nu moare singur pentru ca toti suntem intampinati in momentul morti de cei trecuti in nefiinta inainte de noi, de cei care i-au precedat in moarte chiar si cu putin timp. Interesant ca de multe ori muribundul nici nu stia ca acea ruda murise. Cum e posibil asta daca nu prin existenta sufletului dincolo de moarte?
Toti pacientii trecuti prin aceasta experienta vorbesc despre o stare de seninatate, de equanimitate, de faptul de a fi intampinati de multa iubire. Urmeaza trecerea unui trecatori, tunel sau pod, un loc consacrat al trecerii insotita de rememorarea a tot ce am facut, spus , gandit in viata, Si vedem lucrurile atat din punctul nostru de vedere cat si a celor din jur: cata bucurie , consiolare ai adus si cata suferinta. E important ca nu exista nici un alt judecator decat noi insine, suntem noi cei care ne condamnam pentru a fi amanat sa dam bucurie cand am mai fi putut sa o facem. La celalt capat al trecerii ne asteapta o lumina alba, orbitoare care e perceputa ca iubirea neconditionata care ne-a creat si la care ne intoarcem dupa ce am invatat lectia vietii. Dincolo de aceasta lumina nu au trecut cei din moartea clinica, au simtit in schimb neplacerea de a fi pusi inapoi in propriul corp.
Consider ca acesta carte poate sta fara teama in randul marilor carti ale umanitatii care s-au ocupat vreodata de viata de dupa moarte: cum e de pilda cartea tibetana sau egipteana a mortilor, si nu numai pentru ca sensul experientei muririi este seninatatea, impacarea, credinta intr-o experienta de iubire neconditionata ce ne asteapta ca o implinire pe celalt mal; si probabil nu degeaba multi lectori ai cartii aflati in doliu au exprimat o usurare, o sensinatate sufleteasca dupa ce au citit –o.
Ce putem invata din aceste marturii pentru viata? Omul are liberul arbitru in baza caruia poate deveni daca vrea un monstru nazist sau daca vrea un suflet consolator ca Maica Tereza din Calcutta. Cum ne traim viata, in masura in care raspandim iubire neconditionata si consolare le vom reintalni in experienta mortii, unde vom fi noi proprii nostrii judecatori.
O alta concluzie a cartii este nu va temeti de moarte, pentru ca teama ne impiedica intr-u iubirea neconditionata, in a invata tot ce trebuie sa intelegem in acesta viata. Moartea cand vine de la sine e o trecere la o stare superioara a constiintei unde exista perceptie, zambete, iubire, fericire. Si cum orice trauma e devastatoare ca o mica moarte ele ne sunt date pentru a invata sa ne acceptam suferintele ca doar ele ne fac sa crestem.
Si mai presus de toate sensul pentru viata a acestor experiente e sa nu va temeti sa iubiti, sa iubiti neconditionat, fara a astepta nimic in schimb, incercati sa aduceti cat mai multa iubire si consolare celor din jurul vostru.
Measjul acestei mici carti pline de spiritualitate e ca exista o viata dupa moarte si ca nu amana, nu te teme, iubeste

On Life After Death- E.Kubler Ross (Review)

My review for this book of the famous Elisabeth Kubler Ross about thanatology.
http://metapsychology.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=book&id=4572

Review - On Life After Death
by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Celestial Arts, 2008
Review by Lucia Teszler
Nov 18th 2008 (Volume 12, Issue 47)

It's hard to believe that humans appeared on earth hundreds of thousands of years ago, and since then have progressed in the knowledge of the world, has landed on the moon, haven discovered nuclear fusion and the secrets of genetics, but still have not been able to find out the meaning of life, of death, and especially of premature or sudden death. We tend to treat death and mourning as taboos. But Elisabeth Kubler Ross has changed the world, more exactly, has changed the way humans understand themselves from the perspective of death.

We can admire the courage with which this author dedicated her life to understanding this taboo subject: the psychology of the dying, thus, she reverses a prejudice largely spread in the consumer and 'be happy' world, that of denying the existence of death, of considering it a mistake made by others instead of confronting it and preferring to reduce it to silence instead of listening to the confessions of the dying. However, there is no better teacher than a dying person. (p. 21)

Elisabeth Kubler Ross became famous because of her book Death and Dying where, as a result of her clinical observations, establishes stages in the elaboration of our own death, stages which we can find in any trauma. There in a time of denying, when we continue to plan our lives as if we hadn't heard the diagnosis, or when, after the funeral of our beloved, we are waiting for them to come home, there is a time of rage, a time of negotiations, there is a time of sadness and resignation, and still, there is a time of acquiescence, especially if there is help in the elaboration of these stages.

We can sometimes talk about death without any fear even in front of children, for example when a mother knows that she is dying, she will tell her children, so that they can say goodbye, the mourners must be able to share their pain. Nothing is as painful as silent suffering and the lies with which one tries to hide a grievous event. That is what the fourth chapter of the book deals with.

The book is a collection of four essays on the theme of life after death. It stresses the conclusions the writer has reached in her career, sitting near the dying.

There is no death, says the author. Death is similar to the moment when a butterfly comes out of its cocoon, just like when the soul leaves the body that it gave birth to. Thus, death is the beginning of eternal life, a kind of birth to a higher self conscience.

The arguments she brings in favor of her plausible hypothesis about immortality are the results of the testimony of 20,000 people all over the world, of all cultures, religions and ages who have gone through clinical death.

According to the testimonies in the first moments of death there is an extra sensorial perception, that of leaving the body accompanied by an awareness of body completeness. For example blind people are able to see people around the operation room, and can give details regarding colors, deeds, but when they return to their bodies, they become blind again. So all our senses are entire, we are in a perfect shape.

It is important to know that nobody dies alone because in the moment of our death we are welcomed by those who have died previously, those who preceded us in death even if by little time. Interestingly, the dying often didn't even know about the death of that relative. How is that possible if not through the existence of our soul even after death?

All the patients speak of serenity, of equanimity, of being welcomed by more love on the other side. Then comes the experience of passing through a tunnel or over a bridge, the experience of a place dedicated to passage, accompanied by the recollection of everything we had done, said or thought during our life. And we see things both from our point of view and from those who are around us: how much joy and consolation and how much suffering we have caused. It is important that there is no other judge than ourselves, we are the ones who blame ourselves for not giving the joy when we had the chance to do it. At the other end of the passage a bright, dazzling light is waiting for us and it is perceived as the unconditioned love that created us and to which we return after learning the lesson of life. Those who were in clinical death did not go further this light, but they felt the unpleasant feeling of being put back to their bodies.

What can we learn from these testimonies for our life? The meaning of death as an experience is serenity, peace, trust in an experience of unconditioned love which is waiting for us as a fulfillment on the other side; and probably that's why many readers who were mourning expressed their relief and equanimity after reading it. Man has a choice to become a Nazi monster if he wants, or a comforting soul as Mother Theresa from Calcutta. The way we live our life, the degree in which we give unconditioned love and consolation will be remembered in the moment of our death, where we will be our own judges.

Another conclusion of the book is that we must not fear death because fear hinders us from loving unconditionally, from learning everything we need to understand this life. When death comes by itself it is a passage to a higher state of conscience where there is perception, smile, love, happiness. And our sufferings are meant to help us grow.

And, above all, the meaning these experiences have for life is that one should not be afraid to love, to love unconditionally, without expecting anything in return, one should try to bring as much love and consolation to those around one as possible. Do not postpone it, do not be afraid, love!

© 2008 Lucia Teszler